Joseph Dier
Transformational Coach
Author • Speaker
In Service to Your Healing
Specialties
Healing
Hurting, pain, and loneliness are universal. I believe we are here to heal. The tenderness and care needed to heal requires us to open up to our vulnerable selves.
To heal is a radical act and asks for a commitment to oneself. In particular, the part that has been quieted. I deeply honor healing and serve the healing process.
Healing doesn’t always look like what we want it to, but it gives us exactly what we need.
Relationship & Intimacy
I work with individuals and couples seeking to heal their wounds around relationships and intimacy.
There are many complexities in working with intimacy. Safety is essential to come back into connection while free expression is needed to build a way forward.
Relationships are exquisite in their rewards as well as their challenges. This rich territory serves as a microcosm for the rest of our lives.
LGBTQ+, poly, kink inclusive
Repeating Patterns
Patterns are clues into the unresolved situations and parts of ourselves. We repeat these patterns even while we watch it happen and find that we still do not have control.
In order to make a change we are asked to understand what the pattern is expressing. It may be misaligned or misdirected, but the underneath, your pattern points to an essential part of you.
Authenticity
To discover, stand for, and be ourselves is a radical act. It can change relationships, career, and identity.
We are conditioned to be something that fits the outside world rather than who we are.
When we come into contact with our authentic self we find our what we really want, our true desire, and with that is the possibility of fulfillment and power.
Transformational Coaching
This is real work, not a band-aid.
Firewolf Transformational Coaching is a unique blend of many different healing practices. The method primarily involves talking alongside a mixture of energy work, somatic modalities, parts work, emotional and physical expression, psychodrama, and more.
The process is direct. We go straight to the source of the issue at hand. I don’t like to waste time, yours or mine. This immediacy helps to foster trust and helps us get right to the root. This way you can deal with it once and for all and produce a system-wide change. It is common for clients to come having worked on an issue for many years and to see a marked change even within the first session.
A loving, accepting, gentle, understanding, and compassionate container is essential for the work. No matter the issue or aspect of ourselves, all of it is lovable. At the bottom of any piece we are working with is an essential part of the self. Perhaps turned up or dimmed down, misdirected or misaligned, we all just want to be heard. Our job together is to create a safe, understanding space so the channel opens. Then we are able to heal, make new choices, and have peace. Ultimately, our demons, internal and external, are just trying to get our attention.
I attune deeply, paying close attention to your words, feeling for truth and watching for patterns, while also watching what is being communicated by your body, energy, and soul. I do this to meet you as you need to be met. Often I am able to soften entrenched defenses and create a space for opening up. From there I calibrate my communication to where you are at aim to deliver my communication in a way that is hearable for you. I have a history of working with many anxious/avoidant types who typically find it difficult to stay connected as they both want to be close and tend to push people away. We work together so that your patterns don’t win.
I’m not going to lie, this process is intimate and real (for me too!). The power of the work is in the connection we build. We are all unique and so is each connection we make, so while there are principles and guidelines, there is not a cookie-cutter process. Inside the conversation and connection we create is the work that we do. Through our exploration you come back into contact with forgotten parts of yourself, finding deeper authenticity and safety, fundamentally creating change in a way there is no going back on. Plus, while that is going on you simultaneously create a new blueprint for relating. I truly care for each client I work with and open myself to who they are.
I am a fierce stand for you. I have often cried, drawn boundaries, and called out bullshit. I do so sparingly and specifically I stand for what is most true and authentic in you. This shows up when someone is apathetic, talking negatively about themselves, or repeating thought loops that are destructive and painful. I am willing to be and have it be uncomfortable in standing up for you and the truth. I will not allow the true you to succumb to apathy, bitterness, or resentment in the space that we share.
Last, the way I like to distinguish coaching from therapy is that there is a greater focus on the present rather than the past. This isn’t 100% true for coaching or for therapy but I find it that it is helpful for most people to hear. We definitely go into the past when something in the present prompts it, and only then.
The Work
Heart
Healing is a process of loving.
If we want to change and grow then we must love ourselves; there is no other way. With love and approval for all of us, for each voice and part, every emotion, every inkling. That love has the power to transform.
In the work real care is fundamental. The authentic care for each person I work with is felt, and necessary. The places within ourselves that have longed for connection are finally seen and heard. That is the magic of intimacy. And, you can have it.
Soma/Body
Embodied emotions and authentic feelings are the messengers to what is happening inside. We are conditioned to ignore these messages. We end up with a body screaming for our attention, often taking the form of disorders, diseases, and dysfunction.
Empowerment comes by being with the information given to us. In order to have mastery over our emotion we must first know the territory.
The physical body holds the keys into our psychological state. Cultivating somatic awareness, and playfulness, can dramatically enhance our capacity to free ourselves from pain, change negative patterns, and transform ourselves into a more healthy, healed, and whole human being.
Purpose
Purpose is often either overemphasized or misconstrued. Here, purpose is to be in alignment with your innermost self and moving towards where it points you.
To walk towards destiny and declare to the universe we mean business requires something.
That something is the ability to draw on our innermost strength and convictions to take risks, have confidence, and become the person we are destined to be.
In the work we connect to your authentic self and commit to it. Then we listen so that we can understand what you need and properly support your path.
Spirit
Let me give it to you straight. I don’t know what spirit is. I just work here. There is a bigger thing, bigger than any of us can understand, that is happening. Some experience divine states, others go on plant medicine journeys, and there is no shortage of interpretations.
What I know is that there are benevolent forces in the universe and the people I work with tend to have some in their corner. These people are being guided on their healing journey to come to me and my aim is to listen and show up, in the best way possible, as those guides / forces / ancestors / spirits move us in the work towards the greatest healing for all.
Note: What we work out in session tends to have an affect on the outside world, immediate or not, micro or macro, as above so below.
About Joseph
– Highly perceptive, intuitive, and empathic since birth
– Emotional awareness and acuity from a very early age
– Children and animals, especially dogs, tend to open to me and many people have commented on my gentle nature
– Consciously observed, researched, and experimented with emotions, ego, and related aspects since about 4 years old
– Direct personal experience with sexual trauma, depression, anxiety, a near-death experience, and more
– Grew up Catholic (mother’s side Jewish) and left all religion at age 11 to “start from scratch” with spirituality
– Exposed to recovery/healing/self-help culture in early adolescence and acutely observed, experimented, and continued to evolve understanding of psychology and human nature
– Near-Death Experience at age 15…white light and all, the first of a handful of veil crossings
– Study of Zen Buddhism and Taoism since teen
– Immersive study of indigenous spirituality and ritual. Practitioner of Lakota Sweat Lodge from age 23
– Worked with Miguel Rivera since 2003 regarding sweat lodge, indigenous ways, the medicine path, and Earth connection
– At age 23 had an OBE (out of body experience) that among many things clarified my role and path
– Studied Carlos Castaneda’s works which were deeply synchronized during this time
– Began exploration of non-traditional sexuality and relationship models in early 20’s
– Participated in, DJ’d, and produced outdoor raves in the Southern California desert and mountains
– Attended Burning Man from 2002-2005 and learned ALOT about self-expression, humanity, and art
– In 2005, attended a Gay and Katie Hendricks sourced “Tools” workshop by Diana Chapman (now of Conscious Leadership Group), learning about the victim triangle, embodying and the healthy expression of emotions, and much more
– Studied holistic health coaching and healing through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition – the teacher who had Zen and Vajrayana (Tantric) Buddhism influences
– Came out as bi-sexual (which later became the more heteroflexible and pansexual creature I am today)
– In 2013 began my study with OneTaste and Orgasmic Meditation on relationship, desire, sex, somatic awareness, coaching, teaching, energy, practice and more – hitting a sweet spot of the potency of their teachings which were also heavily influenced by Zen and Vajrayana (Tantric) Buddhism
– Explored and immersed myself in conscious community experimenting, learning, exploring, and researching connection
– Deconstructed and reconstructed relationship, love, and sex with research and experimentation
– Explored monogamy, polyamory, relationship anarchy, and other relationship dynamics
– Deep exploration of BDSM and kink including power play and dynamics, sensation play, surrender, spirituality, and more
– Deep study of polarity (masculine/feminine) dynamics with master teachers alongside immersion and self-study
– Worked briefly with Rafael Bejarano learning about the medicine path, shamanism, and soul work
– Worked with Jetsuma Sage learning about Tibetan Buddhism, Vajrayana Buddhism, and indigenous spirituality
– Worked the program of Codependents Anonymous and the healing work associated with it
– 20+ years of deep research, study, and exploration of Jungian shadow work
– Leadership role in multiple communities and men’s groups
– Facilitated workshops, classes, group programs, healing spaces, coaching circles, ceremonial spaces, and more
– Versed in various forms of “parts” work including Internal Family Systems (IFS), inner child work, and other modalities
– Completed training from Trauma Resource Institute educating on the nervous system, resourcing, regulation, and more.
– Studied and experienced numerous somatic (body) based therapies including “Focusing”, Somatic Experiencing, and more
– Studied and attended workshops on death, dying, and grief with Stephen Jenkinson and others
– Longtime study, with a critical eye, of metaphysical and new age books, philosophy, and ideas
– Extensive healing work of my own trauma, patterns, limiting beliefs, depression, anxiety, and integrating it all
– A wide variety of experiences and trainings related to self-development, relationship, communication, and spirituality
– Cultivated kinship with nature
– Coaching professionally since 2007
CLIENT EXPERIENCES
“Joseph proceeded to guide me through the most intense period of transition and transformation I had ever experienced. The part of myself he helped me access during that transition became the cornerstone of my life. Within 6 months I had founded two successful businesses, began dating the love of my life (now my wife), and accessed a level of feeling that I had been repressing since childhood. I still am not sure how this man works his magic, but the magic is very, very, very real. If the voice to work with him even whispers to you, I would do everything in your power to make it happen.” – Dave
“The transformation I’ve seen has been outstanding. I now feel much more, allowing myself to stay in uncomfortable spots to see what’s there. I’m finally letting my anger out instead of holding back and exploding. I’m now seeing that behind my anger is clarity on boundaries and desires. I’m finding fulfillment in showing up more authentically. I’m letting my beast do the talking more than ever before, instead of retracting in the face of a powerful woman. I’m showing up presently, loving her, and meeting her intensity when I feel it inside me. I see how my fulfillment is about me loving myself, celebrating the victories, finding my unique self-expressions and fulfillment.” – Noah
“I never feel judged, just heard. His advice is on point, his heart is kind and his words are honest. I would recommend this man 100%. One of my patterns is to do it all myself, be strong (rigid) and scrutinizing. Joseph helped me see where to be more receptive and fluid. My feminine side got some nourishment. As a result I feel more harmonious and life is just easier. I could write a book on all the things Joseph has helped me with. – Marina
“Joseph has the ability to meet people on a multitude of levels without judgment. Time and time again through his lens of unconditional love I found trust in myself. As a guide, he communicates with kind precision. Our discussions gave me the power to speak my truth, and the time we spent together produced an internal map which continues to guide me to the light of clarity in any situation. Working with the Joseph was one of the most transformative experiences of my life; he helped me change the way I feel. – Katrina
“Joseph helped me realize that the desires I had shame around could actually be used to connect. Through his immense power and vulnerability Joseph knows how to fiercely hold space, guide through wisdom, transform blocks into solutions, and truly connect soul to soul as a lover.” – Aaron
“Joseph had me feel a sense of trust and openness in our coaching sessions that allowed me to discover parts of myself that I wouldn’t otherwise have been able to access. I loved the process of being seen in that way that felt sensitive to the vulnerable to parts of myself that were being to emerge and challenging to the parts of myself that were no longer serving me. Coaching with Joseph helped me access my creativity, some of which had been buried for some time under self-criticism. I found a new sense of enthusiasm for my creativity that directly impacted the work I was able to complete as a result of the coaching. I’m very grateful for the work that we did together.” – Amanda
“A beautiful balance of subtle intuition, deep insight, and gentle humility. Plus the presence and clarity to know when to deliver each. Working with him cracked open a shell I didn’t know I had and in a few short months my relationships with women, work, and money were all transformed.” – James
“I’ve been lucky enough to coach with Joseph through two of the most challenging periods of my life. During both, I found myself with an unbelievably intuitive guide in my corner. Joseph’s ability to work with me on a subtle level allowed me to tap into and nurture aspects of my masculinity, strength, and adult male self that were previously unavailable. Additionally, his ability to work with me at a macro level, usefully contextualizing wherever I happened to be at any given moment into a larger, over-arching narrative, allowed me to ground and reorient myself at times when I’d typically collapse. In short, for me, working with Joseph was like getting an extra pair of eyes for my blind spots. That’s a truly extraordinary gift for a coach to provide. As days go by, I find that aspects of myself we worked on months ago — particularly around life purpose, self-love, and romantic partnership — continue to unfold and open in new and thrilling ways. If you are looking to get your fire lit, find gold in your shadow, up your self-love, engage in amazing relationship with everyone around you, and move the needle on living a life that aligns with your big desires, I can’t recommend Joseph highly enough.” – Devin
“The best gift I received through our coaching was the ability to hold myself. You kept your commitment of holding me through this process. It was less of a transformation for me and more of a partnership of discovery, traversing through the dark, unknown spaces within myself which I feared to travel, not knowing if I could find my way back out. I feel blessed that you supported me the whole way, through all my fears and doubts, which sounds cliche, yet feel so life-threatening in those vulnerable moments.
I feel more powerful and secure in my vulnerability now. And that has opened up a profound space for love and authentic connection. I find myself now in the most fulfilling relationship of my life with the ability to communicate and be available, especially in those moments I am most bare and exposed. It is a very special partnership you offer. I feel blessed and honored for the experience with you.” – Calliope
“It feels really good to know my relationships stand more solid. That I don’t have blurry boundaries anymore even with people who pull for my attention. That I have graduated from the times where I used to use sex/love/flirtation as a ploy to hook people into loving me and then have a complete identity shift trying to make it work. That I can stand on my own two feet and discern what’s mine and what’s there’s and hold myself while still loving them and their capacity for love. I think that our coaching container really allowed me to truly love myself and learn how to love people I am with!” – Don
“Your style feels very much like a safe house room, where you give me space to run around and trip up and have my feelings, and your arms are open and allowing while also keeping me at bay from bombing the place. It feels very protective.” – Andrea
“You have the transformative abilities to bring someone out of victim state into creator of their own destiny. And you do so without forcing anything or speaking too much about what you see. Rather, you allow spaciousness for me to come out and gather my own insights.” – Tiffany
Deeply sacred, connected to the Divine, down to earth, with the ability to move through the pain and joy. You gain so much just by transmission within his field. – Tiffany
